A Metis Recruitment Christmas Survival Guide

Every December, as the nation dusts off its Christmas jumpers, stocks up on mince pies, and pretends to understand the rules of “Elf on the Shelf,” we at Metis Recruitment like to revisit the greats.

And by “the greats,” we obviously mean the factual documentary ELF, a groundbreaking piece of investigative journalism later rebranded as a “film” for legal reasons. This heroic chronicle of Buddy’s journey from the North Pole to New York is the closest humanity has to an HR-approved training video for the festive season.

So, in the spirit of caring, sharing, and gently bribing Santa with baked goods, here is your Definitive Christmas-Prep Guide, as endorsed by Metis Recruitment and Buddy the Elf (probably).

1. Safety First: Clear That Roof!

Santa is a professional, but even the best in the business appreciates proper health & safety measures. It’s crucial to ensure:

• Roofs are free from ice
• Reindeer landing strips are hazard-free
• Magical sleigh approaches comply with local air traffic rules
  (Source: “North Pole Department of Transportation,” probably.)

Think of it like onboarding a very important candidate—except this one arrives at speed, has eight hooved colleagues, and eats your biscuits.

2. The Great Christmas Footprint Scandal

Authenticity matters. Nobody wants to wake up to footprints that look suspiciously like Dad’s slippers. This year, ensure:

• Snowy boot prints look “genuinely North Polian”
• Soot smudges are applied with artistic precision
• Stray glitter is sprinkled liberally

Remember: fake it ’til you make it… Christmas magic edition.

3. Check Those Chimneys (Or Prepare the Magic Key)

Whether you have:

• A fireplace
• A wood burner
• Or a 2-bed flat with no chimney but plenty of hope

…it’s essential to ensure Santa has access. Chimneys should be cleared (the original documentary states that a rogue conker once delayed Santa by 47 minutes).

And if you're using the magic key, make sure the lock isn’t frozen. Santa does not do callouts.

4. Outdoor Lights: Because Visibility Improves Retention

A well-lit house is basically a recruitment strategy for Santa:

“If the lights don’t blind you, do you even care about Christmas?”
— Official North Pole Energy Guidance, 2003

And nothing says festive cheer like spending three hours untangling fairy lights while muttering words not endorsed by the elves.

5. Essential Christmas Consumables

• Reindeer Food (Eco-Friendly Only!)

Please avoid glitter. Rudolph has standards.

• Mince Pies for Santa

One per household is traditional.

Six is encouraged.

A full tray bake says, “We believe.”

• Advent Calendars

Legally required to maintain 24 consecutive days of morale, according to the Ministry of Christmas Motivation.

6. The “Elf on the Shelf” Compliance Manual

This is not a game. This is daily performance art.

Missing a day or repeating an idea may result in being placed on the Naughty List *

*Appeals process not available until January.

7. Carolling: Know the Greatest Hits

It is, of course, illegal (socially, not actually… yet) to hesitate on the second verse of We Wish You a Merry Christmas.

Buddy the Elf says:

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.”

HR says:

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is not calling in sick the next day because you overdid it at the pub.”

Which brings us to…

8. Christmas Eve Drinking: Proceed With Caution

Nothing ruins Christmas morning like discovering:

• You forgot to wrap half the presents
• The stockings were hung by the chimney with… no actual contents
• You’ve left all the bin bags at your mum’s house

If you're in charge of Christmas Bin Bag Operations, treat it with the serenity and pride of an HR Manager sorting the naughty and nice list.

9. Gingerbread Houses & Christmas Baking

A structural masterpiece is a requirement. Shoddy construction will be noted. We expect:

• Frosting beams
• Jelly tot load-bearing walls
• Zero gingerbread workforce disputes

Christmas puddings should be flamed responsibly. Not like you're reenacting a scene from Die Hard.

10. Decorating the Tree & Hanging Stockings

Whether you’re:

• A “colour-coordinated elegance” decorator
• A “throw everything at it and hope for the best” enthusiast
• Or a “children did it… don’t move a thing” sentimental hero

Just be sure the star on top complies with Elf & Safety regulations.

11. Letters to Santa & Christmas Jumpers

Letters must be posted by the official cut-off date: “Whenever Royal Mail says so, but preferably before panic sets in.”

Christmas jumpers must be worn with confidence and mild embarrassment.

And Finally… The Naughty & Nice List

At Metis Recruitment, we believe everyone deserves to be on the Nice List, especially the clients and candidates who’ve made our year sparkle.

But if you:

• Don’t clear the roof
• Forget the reindeer food
• Fail to produce bin bags on Christmas morning

…well, we make no promises.

Merry Christmas from Metis Recruitment 

May your Christmas be full of joy, low stress, and minimal Elf-on-the-Shelf admin.

If you want help finding great people (or escaping to a new job before the next round of caroling), we're here, working harder than Santa’s elves and drinking less syrup than Buddy.